He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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