I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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