On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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