the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
