Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
