Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
