GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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