nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
is it fun? or sober?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
