I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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