is your mom at the bar?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
