You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
