ugly people sure do ruin things
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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