She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
