youre lurking in front of me
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
