I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
