Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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