5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
