So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
