ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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