he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
