Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
