I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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