I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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