Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
