I accidentally burped into my bong.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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