Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
