More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize