If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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