we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
