you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
