I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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