the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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