glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
