I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize