This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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