Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
