I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
