just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize