I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
