Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
