So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
