I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
