pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
