he puts the penis in happiness.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
