I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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