How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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