I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You're a waste of cheezeits
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
