I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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