She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
