he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize