is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Everclear isn't food dammit
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
