My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Panties = found
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