Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
