There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
