FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
