It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize