The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so explain again why im purple
no
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
