Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
