hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
