im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
