Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
