Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
false alarm, still single
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